angelo_wings | Room 421, Thursday Afternoon

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Room 421, Thursday Afternoon

This had not really been the best week Rinoa had had, exactly.

She had woken up on Saturday with a melodramatic case of amnesia, which she hadn't seemed able to spell. She'd gone looking for clues in the most wrong-headed manner possible. About the only sensible thing she had done was to turn herself into the clinic so someone could check her out.

And then there was the part where she had slept with her ex-boyfriend. Which ... was not exactly bad so much as kind of seriously not good, exactly, what with them having sort of a messy relationship now, and her moving on, and blah blah blah.

And then there was finding out on Twitter that Seifer had also bedded Squall, aka, her current boyfriend, which had necessitated in her being really unpleasant to both of them, which was totally unfair, and then crying to Sookie, which ... meant she owed Sookie some candy or apologies or something?

Theeeeeeeen Seifer had trashed his room and she had worried but he said he was okay now, and they seemed better. That bit was good.

The bit where she and Squall hadn't talked since that stupid fight on Monday, that ... wasn't so great. That part sucked really hard.

She should go down to his room. No. She should call him. No, you know, she was going to wait it out and see if he contacted her, first. Okay, no, that was childish. She was going to ... text him? Kind of gauge his reaction?

Maybe she should flip a coin.

(will be linkdroppy. door cracked, post open)

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Squall was feeling all kinds of emotions, himself. Guilt, anger, jealousy, shame, all covered over with just a general wanting the fight to be over, and mixed up with some things he didn't even have words to express.

"Hey," he said, as he walked in and shut the door behind him.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, the other day." That was as good a place as any to start, wasn't it?

"No, don't be," she said quickly. "I mean, yes, you should be, but so should I. I mean, I am, too. I yelled, and I shouldn't have."

She ran one hand through her hair.

"I was going to come down and tell you," she said. "I didn't know how, but I was. And then I saw that on Twitter and I just ..."

Squall nodded. "And even though it's not your fault and I don't have any right to be angry, it still hurts, and that's not fair to you. Especially since what you did at least makes sense..."

That last word was growled a little, and his fists clenched. He wasn't sure whether he was more angry at her or himself for what happened last weekend, but he was definitely angry at himself that it bothered him.

"I keep worrying that yours does, too," she added, frowning. "That maybe all of it means something. And then I yelled at Seifer because I said he made me feel ... cheap."

This week wasn't going on anybody's favorites list, was it?

"Trust me, I'm not attracted to Seifer," Squall told her firmly. He was entirely Rinoasexual. "...And he seems to be even more upset than we are," he added. "You... What happened this weekend wasn't our fault. Not yours, not mine, not Seifer's. And I doubt we were the only ones who had sex with the wrong people."

"I thought ... maybe it was something special," she said, faintly. "With us. Me and him. I mean, I'm not still ... hung up on him or anything, but it felt all ... I don't know. Romantic."

Maybe she was a little hung up on him. Look, he was her ex, okay? It was a big deal.

"Everything's all weird now," she added. "I kind of ... I kind of liked that it had only ever been you and me."

Squall nodded, and sat down on the bed next to her. "I liked it, too. I'm sorry that it's not... but it doesn't change anything between us, right?" He shrugged. "It's just a little hard to deal with."

The way she had just said that, though... "...Unless you are still hung up on him?" He was afraid what that might mean.

She exhaled, messily. "He said yesterday he wants to be best man at the wedding," she said. "It's not ... we're not like that, any more. But he was the first guy I fell hard for, so maybe there's a little bit of me that's his. Just a little bit, that's all. So I liked the idea of having that, this weekend, even though I felt guilty about thinking that, and I felt horrible about having ... done that to you, and I would never have done that if I were me. And then I found out it was just ... something that happened, and I ... I don't know."

Rinoa hadn't had a short answer. Maybe the big, rambly answer would help?

It did, at that.

"So... You still have feelings for him, but you don't want to date him?" Squall summarized. That... made him feel better, sort of. It put things into terms that he could understand, anyway. "You're not still wanting... anything... with him?"

"Of course not," she said, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. "He matters to me. It's different. I went to his room and fussed over him and made sure he was okay, yesterday. I'm kind of worried about him. Which reminds me. Don't yell at him. He's in kind of a bad place and if you're mean to him, I have to yell at you."

She got protective of people. It was a thing.

"I apologized for yelling at him," Squall told her. "I'm not going to yell at him again unless he does something to deserve it." Which, being Seifer, he would. "...He... He's different than I thought he was."

He shrugged, and frowned. "I... don't like that you're as close to him as you are. But I'm not going to be weird about it."

"You're closer to him than you think you are," she pointed out, leaning over to rest her head on his shoulder. "Why are we talking about him, anyway?"

Well, they had both had sex with him.

Squall wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know. ...I'm sorry about this weekend. I'm sorry for yelling. I'm sorry that things are weird."

But this? This right here? This was nice. "...I love you."

"I love you, too," she answered. "I'm not ... sure things are gonna be un-weird just yet."

Could they pretend that made sense?

"We might both need some time."

Erm. And then there was the one thing she couldn't stop herself from asking.

"... was it good?"

"...Yeah. Still weird," Squall agreed.

Which sucked. But it didn't have to make sense.

As for her other question... He sighed and facepalmed. "...I thought it was," he admitted. "But I wasn't myself at the time."

"Does that mean ..." She bit her lip, but then she had to turn to face him. "Okay, don't get mad?"

Squall wasn't mad, just confused. "...Okay?"

This was NOT going to end well.

"So ..." She was now playing with the edge of her skirt. Mostly so she didn't have to look at him.

"He was attracted to Seifer, but you're not?" she said. "I mean, it wasn't good after all? Do you think that that-you was ... gay, or bi, or just experimenting? But you wouldn't want to? Even if it was good? Or you thought it was?"

Look, she had never had a boyfriend just ... suddenly ... start sleeping with guys before.

It was more straightforward for her. Because, frankly, she had come really, really close to sleeping with Seifer long before she'd even met Squall.

Edited 2011-09-16 02:32 (UTC)

Squall just sort of stared at her.

"..."

No, really, there weren't words. He should find some, though.

"I'm not. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not. I don't have any desire to do it again. Whatever it was, it was just the weekend craziness."

...It HAD been pretty hot. But he really didn't see ever wanting to repeat it.

"It's much better with you."

"Okay," Rinoa said, seemingly mollified by that. "Sorry, I just ... I thought, you know, if you did sleep with someone ... it'd be some girl and I'd have to go cut her face off, and I'd be scared she was prettier than me and better at sex than me and all this stuff, and then all of a sudden it was Seifer."

Crap. They were talking about Seifer again.

"... it was just Seifer, right?" she asked. "Not like ... Seifer and then six more people?"

"No, just Seifer," Squall confirmed, gritting his teeth a little. "...What about you?"

He wasn't going to ask if Seifer was better at sex. He just wasn't. It wouldn't do either of them any good.

"Just ... Seifer, too," Rinoa said. She frowned at him, noting the growl. "What did I ... ?"

"It's just still weird, is all," Squall grumbled. "I'm sorry."

She pressed a finger against his nose. "Weird how?" she asked. "I told you. You should tell me. I can't ... help if I don't know, Squall."

"I don't like the idea of you with anyone else," he told her, "but especially not him. But if there had been more, I would have wanted you to tell me. And... He's probably better at it than me, since he's had more experience, but that shouldn't matter, since you want me."

He shrugged. "It's just all... weird."

"So ... you're being insecure," she said. Somehow, that was ... kind of cute. "It's not a question of better. Just ... different. You know that."

Particularly well, in this case.

Squall shrugged. "That doesn't mean I have to like it." He... didn't really know what he meant by that. It was all still jumbled in his head. "So... we're okay? Just a little weird?"

"I think so," she said. "I ... I don't know how to make it un-weird."

They had talked it out, so it should all be okay. This was where they should make-up and everything should be okay. Except she still felt all messy.

"Maybe ... we just need a little time?" she said. "Not in a bad way, ust ... for it all to settle down."

Squall nodded. "To... deal with it all. Because it's messy."

Nothing made sense, everything sucked, and he didn't like it.

"Okay," she said. "... Is there ... I mean. Anything else we should talk about? Or need to do? Or do we just ... wait and hope it's gonna be okay soon?"

Squall shrugged. "I don't know. ...We'll see?"

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Room 421, Thursday Afternoon

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