Room 421, Thursday Evening

[angelo_wings]

This wasn't how Rinoa had hoped her birthday would go. She was usually spoiled enough to make a huge fuss of it, to hint for gifts or insist on a party. She didn't want a party, this year. She was hoping no one realized it was her birthday; then she wouldn't have to smile and laugh and play along.

Her shields were better, thanks to both Sookie and Professor Skywalker, but the lack of sleep was getting to her. Everything was turning a bit gray and colorless. And the rest ... the rest, she was trying her hardest not to think about. There didn't seem to be a solution, yet.

There was a card on her desk, and she recognized the handwriting as being her father's. She didn't open it yet. She wasn't all that interested in whatever he had to say. Probably just a card with money stuck inside.

Rinoa stretched out on her bed and tried to read. Angelo whuffed a few times before curling up by her feet.

(door and post both open)

Comments

[angelo_wings]

"Angelo," Rinoa said again, snapping her fingers. "Hey."

Angelo released Squall's arm and bounced over to Rinoa. And then bounced right back to Squall, and began barking. Hey! Look! Squall! Come onnnnn, Squall!

"I'm fine," she said, quickly. "A little tired. What did you ..."

She sighed a little at the box, but with a smile. "Who told you?"

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"Nobody reminded me, if that's what you mean," Squall told her. "I asked."

He handed her the box, which had a 18-karat gold replica of his Griever necklace in it. "I had this made for you," he told her. And maybe she needed it more, now.

[angelo_wings]

She opened the box, then gasped. "Oh, Squall, it's beautiful," she said, running her fingers over the lion's head. "For ... for me?"

When her eyes met his, they were wide with awe. A moment later, something else flickered across.

"Oh," she said. "I ... I guess this means I can give you your ring back."

She reached up to the clasp on her necklace and started fiddling with it. Of course. He'd gotten her Griever so he could get his ring back. That was all.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"Keep the ring," he told her. If she took off the necklace, would she put it back on again? "You... I want you to keep it."

He frowned. He'd give her one more chance to tell him. "It might help with what you're going through."

[angelo_wings]

She probably would have -- it had her mother's ring on it, after all -- but she might have removed Griever, first.

"Okay," she said, tonelessly. "Thank you."

Why did she feel upset with him, for bringing her a gift? It was such a nice one, and now it was ... ruined, somehow.

Probably her fault.

"It's been a long couple of weeks," she said. "I'm sorry if I haven't been ... around more."

Still acting like his girlfriend and not his Sorceress.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"You've been avoiding me," Squall told her. "I can't protect you if you're avoiding me."

He might have to start stalking her again.

"I can't help if you're hiding things from me."

[angelo_wings]

She had always liked it when he stalked her, in the past. She wasn't sure what had changed.

"You can't help, period," she insisted, before catching her breath and realizing she was slipping. "... I mean, it's not ... I'm fine."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"You're NOT fine," Squall growled. "When were you going to tell me? I'm your KNIGHT."

[angelo_wings]

"I can't tell you!" she snapped, folding the box closed and tossing it onto her bed. "Okay!? I can't! I don't trust you!"

The words hung in the air as if she had slapped him.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

He recoiled a little, too, as if she had slapped him.

"Of COURSE you can!!!" he shouted. "You can trust me with anything!!! It's my job to protect you!!!"

[angelo_wings]

She sank down on her bed, slowly, feeling like she should apologize. Feeling like she wanted to scream.

"It's not your only job," she said, listlessly. "I ... I didn't mean that. Of course I trust you. If ... if something was going on, I'd ... tell you."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"My other job is to love you," Squall pointed out. "Those are my only two jobs." He... didn't really have any purpose in the world, outside of Rinoa. That probably wasn't healthy.

"Something IS going on, and you're not telling me," he told her. "Ultimecia."

[angelo_wings]

"Loving me isn't a job," she said, glaring up at him. "Don't act like you don't know what I mean. You have mixed loyalties."

She was daring him to deny it.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Not a job, maybe, but a defining purpose, definitely.

He sighed at her. "No, I don't. I quit."

[angelo_wings]

"You didn't quit," she seethed, balling her hands into fists. "You're watching me for them. If you thought I was a danger, you'd tell them. You're not a Knight, you're a SeeD."

She said that last syllable as if SeeD were known cannibals and puppy-stranglers. SeeDs couldn't be trusted.

Angelo padded over to Rinoa, resting her head on Rinoa's lap with a low whine. Nothing was right any more, and Angelo didn't even know how to fix it.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Well, to be fair, SeeD was created in order to protect the world from Sorceresses. But even so, they wouldn't come for Rinoa unless she went evil. And if they did, Squall would stand against them. If Rinoa weren't being mind-whammied by Ultimecia, she'd know that.

"I'm your Knight!" he insisted. "I swore an oath to protect you! I'm on your side no matter what!"

[angelo_wings]

"... what oath?" Rinoa asked, sounding more like herself. "You didn't swear any oath! I told Edea I had an apprentice Knight, and you grumbled and glared and shrugged it off!"

The fact that he didn't contradict it had been enough for her to assume she was right. He'd said it later, but that still didn't count as an oath.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Squall paused. Hadn't he? He certainly had sworn it to himself, anyway. "Maybe not out loud," he told her. "But I swore it! Even if the world turns against you, I will still be your Knight!"

[angelo_wings]

"Am I supposed to believe that?" she asked, glancing up at him again. "How do I know you're not just saying that? You could ... you could be trying to trick me. You ..."

Her head was swimming. She didn't know what she believed. There was just panic.

"I trusted Seifer, too," she said, very softly.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"I'm not Seifer," Squall countered. "And I don't lie to you. I'm on your side."

[angelo_wings]

"Why don't I feel like that, any more?" she asked, staring at the ground. "I used to think I could trust you with anything. And now I tell myself I can, but I don't ... I don't believe it."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"Maybe you're not keeping her all the way out," Squall suggested. She certainly wasn't acting like her normal self, that was for sure. "Maybe she's influencing you a little. She doesn't want you to trust me."

He stood a little straighter, and looked directly at Rinoa with eyes blazing. "Because Ultimecia has everything to fear from me, and she probably knows it. I'm your Knight, and I'm going to save you from her!"

[angelo_wings]

He ... something in what he said, it struck her. It was true, it was clear, it was more real than all of the phantoms that had been circling her head with what-ifs. She knew it. She believed it.

He was her Knight. Hers.

She was on her feet before she realized it, reaching for the front of his jacket. She ignored the complicated tangle of emotions in the pit of her stomach. His lips felt real.

"Promise me," she said softly. "Y-you promise?"

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Squall kissed her softly, and cradled her close. "I promise. Always."

And maybe the weight of his conviction would help, somehow.

[angelo_wings]

"Always," she answered, snuggling in. He was safe. He could be an anchor-point, if nothing else could. She hoped.

"I've been so scared," she admitted. "And ... and I was so sure you would ... go to Quistis or ..."

Or worse that she couldn't say out loud, yet.

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

It would be okay to trust Quistis, too, but Squall wasn't going to press that point just now.

"You don't have to face her alone," he told Rinoa. "I'm always here for you."

[angelo_wings]

Rinoa straightened up, reluctantly.

"We ... need to seriously consider our options here," she said, as calmly as she could manage. "All our options. There ... there might be a time when ..."

She cleared her throat. "When all the options we have left are bad."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Squall shrugged. "Even if the options are bad, there are still options."

[angelo_wings]

Okay, he was going to be logical about this. Good.

"Then we'll need to decide when ... when it's gone too far," she said. "If it gets to that point, I might ........ there might come a point where it's either, I lose myself, or ... or I get sealed."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Well, he wasn't going to be logical about THAT. "No, you won't! We'll find another way!" He'd carried her halfway across the world. He'd jumped after her into outer space. He'd FIND a way to get to Ultimecia.

[angelo_wings]

"I'd rather that than turn into a monster!" she insisted. "What if she uses me to start another war? What if I watch her kill all of you and I can't even stop it!?"

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"I won't let that happen," Squall insisted. That was the end of it, and there wasn't going to be any more discussion on the matter. "She won't use you."

[angelo_wings]

"She did before," Rinoa reminded him. "It's better than the alternative, Squall. It wouldn't have to be permanent."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

She was right. Dammit, she was right. "Only as a last resort," he told her. "One we won't need to use. We're going to beat her before then."