The Preserve, Sunday Night

[angelo_wings]

Rinoa hadn't been having a good week before she'd gotten the call. Apparently, the universe was making a point about how she shouldn't gripe about petty things, like being a fake-amnesiac or sleeping with her ex.

She was glad she had gone, and she would go again in an instant if Jono called right now to say there had been another attack. They had saved a lot of dying mutants today. But right now ...

The magic itched. It burned. It wanted out. She'd used so much today. It would have been so much better if she could have just ... let it out. Unfurled her wings, flown towards the ceiling, and drink it in deeply.

And once she had done that, she would have stopped being able to heal. It was so hard, finding the focus for white magic when she had her wings out. Once the magic was out, it wanted out. It wanted to destroy. She wanted to destroy. She could never seem to find Curaga, when she had her Sorceress powers in full hand.

So all day, she had filtered more and more magic through herself, curing and curing, while keeping a tight leash on the fine control that kept her from letting the real power come out.

Which had resulted in ... whatever it was she had done to Squall. She had drained him. Drained something from him. Hyne's wrath, she didn't even know what she had done to him.

The fact that he didn't seem to mind didn't make it any less awful.

They had caught a portal back, and she had stayed quiet, trying to meditate some structure back into her frayed shields. And now they were -- wait.

"This isn't the way to the dorms," she frowned.

(Just for her Knight. That the two are heading out there is fine for broadcast, but everything else is NFB, please.)

Comments

[angelo_wings]

"You didn't make your own choice, this time," she insisted. "I made it for you. That can't be okay. Don't you see the difference? I can't just assume what's okay with you and what's not."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Squall facepalmed. "We're talking in circles. Earlier, when you did it, you didn't make a choice for me, because you didn't know you were doing it. And I made the choice not to stop it."

He sighed.

"And right now, you're trying to make a choice for me, because you've decided that I chose wrong."

[angelo_wings]

Dammit. She hated when he made sense like that.

"Okay," she said. "You're right. Except ... I could have stopped it, after I started, and I didn't. I think I could have. And I don't know that you could have. And ... and now it's ..."

Words were hard.

"I'm not saying you chose wrong," she decided. "I'm saying that ... that you don't always ... Squall, you've done insane things to rescue me, before. I can't trust you to be rational. I can't trust you to tell me what your limits are. I don't know if it hurt, or if you felt it, and if you say it didn't, then I don't even know if I can believe you, because you'd say it anyway. I can't trust you. Because you'll do what you think is best for me, without any regard for you, so I have to try to protect you, and everything's sideways."

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"It didn't hurt me," Squall repeated. "If it had, I would say so, and tell you that I didn't mind. That's not what I'm saying right now. What I'm saying is that I felt it, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't harmed in any way. If it turns out that there's a small harmful effect that accumulates over time -- like there is with the GFs -- then we will reevaluate. You're more important to me than I am, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything stupid."